Trying to Be Brave
by wallflower522
Summary: Marina Avery has had an impossible past. Why should her present and future be any different? She was born in Amity and transferred to Erudite when she was ten. She's divergent. And at her Choosing Ceremony, she was forced to choose Dauntless. Her silver lining is trainer, Jonah. There's only one problem. Marina isn't brave, but she's trying to be.


Walking down the cracked sidewalk I see a blur of colors moving past me. After years of visiting the Choosing Ceremony for older students, I should be used to the hustle and bustle of the city. Even after everything I've gone through, everything surprises me. I feel a slight breeze and draw my leather jacket closer to my body; I dressed comfortably today in a pair of combat boots and jeans. Underneath my jacket is my favorite sweater in Erudite blue since it's my faction. It might not be for much longer. Amity children dressed in yellow and red sprint past me in slow motion; I'm too nervous and confused to even appreciate the display.

I see some of my Erudite friends off in the distance inspecting some food stands. I was going to walk with them to the ceremony, but I needed time to think. And they understood because the Erudite love to think. God, I want to stay in Erudite. I want to stay so much it hurts, but the choice might not be mine after all…

Snapping out of my reverie, I realize that I've reached the backdrop of all of my thoughts for the last few months: the Choosing Ceremony. I join the precession of Candor and Dauntless entering the building; the amount of black here is depressing and eerie. Because I find Dauntless to be brainless and Candor to be brutal, I ignore both groups and focus on entering the building. After several minutes, I finally make it inside the doors. I immediately see a large group of Erudite in the middle of the seating area, and I walk to them as fast as possible.

Luckily, my friends had saved me a seat on the end of a row. I slide in the seat next to my best friend, Jessamine, and smile at her. She holds up a one, pointer finger to silence me as she finishes her conversation with another friend of ours. Once she's done she looks at me with a questioning look on her pretty face; I've always been jealous of her beauty.

"What?" I ask her.

"Where were you? You said you needed 'to think'." She did the air quotes and everything.

"I did!"

"What, you can't think around us?"

"Not about this."

"Wha-Oh. No. No. No. No. NO! You haven't doubted staying with Erudite, have you? We all promised that we'd stay!"

"I know! I know! I would never voluntarily go to another faction; you know that." I don't tell her that I might be going somewhere else involuntarily.

We continue in some miscellaneous conversation that I pretend to be interested in. In reality, I'm freaking out about what faction I'll be going to. Not that I share that information. Too soon an official walks onto the stage and repeats his signature speech; my hands are visibly shaking in my lap. He starts to call names from other factions. The seconds tick by all too slowly, giving me plenty of time to grow more and more anxious. Eventually he reaches Erudite. Crap.

The man calls the names of some of my friends and other random Erudites. I actually pay attention when he calls out Jessamine's name, and she passes me to get to the aisle and walk to the stage. Jessamine doesn't look nervous, but I know her too well for her to fool me. Mounting the stairs she walks to the center of the stage and accepts the blade. She slices her hand and lets the blood drip into the water that symbolizes Erudite. She honored our agreement. I hope I can. The Erudite look smug as she walks back to her seat. He calls a few more names; then he calls me. "Marina Avery".

I stand up and exit into the aisle easily. Since my hands are violently shaking, I turn them into fists. As I climb up the small flight of stairs, I count them.

_One…_

_Two…_

_Three…_

_Four…_

_Five…_

The second my feet hit the stage I hear a shout from the audience; I whip my head towards the sound. I see the leader of Candor standing with an enraged expression on his face. "This girl shouldn't be allowed to choose her faction! Candor needs her!" Then the Dauntless leader stands and shouts, "Dauntless needs her more!" The leader of Erudite stands and screams, "Erudite is for the intelligent! She should stay with us!" All three leaders stand there arguing. Eventually, the leaders of Amity and Abnegation try to end the argument.

"ENOUGH!" I turn to see the choosing official with a disgusted look on his face. "We will have a meeting about this. _Outside." _All the leaders of each factor exit the room begrudgingly. Once the doors slam shut, I risk a peak at the crowd of my peers. They each wear different versions of shocked faces. I turn around and take a seat on the wooden steps; I hear a chorus of whispers strike up throughout the crowd. My worst nightmare has come true: I wouldn't get a choice. Running my fingers through my fiery red hair, I stare at one point in the wall and don't move my eyes. I can hear people in the crowd whispering harshly, "Freak!" Wow. How original. I hate the name of this ceremony. The Choosing Ceremony. I'm not allowed to choose. My choice is being made for me right outside those doors.

I hear the doors opening, and I tear my eyes away from that "interesting" place on the wall. Standing back up, the leaders from each faction walk back to their seats. Their faces betray nothing. The Choosing Ceremony official passes me on the stairs and places a gentle hand on my shoulder. He leads me to the center of the stage, and he hands me the cruel blade. I slide it against my palm and try to hide the pain. The official grabs my hand, and I close my eyes.

He leads my palm to one of the five elements that will change my life forever. Hopefully for the better. When I open my eyes, I see my bright red blood trickle onto the lit coals.

_Dauntless._

Trying not to seem disappointed, I look up to see a range expressions in Dauntless: pleasant and disgusted. I risk a look at Jessamine and immediately wish I didn't; she's crying. Climbing down the set of stairs, I walk towards Dauntless. I'm leaving my past to go to my future. I'm no longer with the intelligent; I'm with the brave.

I will be brave.


End file.
